Emotionally Spent

Well, after today's IFSP with Regional Center, Kaylee's OT Eval and PT Eval, potty training and my ongoing battle with everyday life of special needs kids, it's safe to say I'm emotionally spent. My stomach has been in knots for the past week with everything going on. It's really hard to constantly rehash all that your children aren't capable of when compared with "the norm" or typical children their age. I am dreading the next big appointment, Kay's neuro appointment (in exactly two weeks), where we may have another hospital stay in our near future to perform more tests to see why her gross development is so far behind. We try really hard to focus on all the good things and their capabilities, not their shortcomings, however, when trying to decide the best course of action for treatment, the areas of concern are always at the forefront. I wish their was an easier way, but it's just an unfortunate part of the process when trying to get help for an SN child. I try really hard not to let it get me down most of the time, but sometimes the harsh realities just swallow you up and spit you out. My insides churn, I feel nauseated, my head pounds and an overwhelming feeling of emptiness consumes me.

I try so hard to just appreciate what we do have. We have beautiful children, that are healthy (for the most part), we have a roof over our head, family and friends that love and care for us. What more could we ask for, right? I guess sometimes it's hard to see the sunshine when the sky is full of clouds. Just hoping the weather clears up soon :)